Reflections: March 27, 2020

I found the below blog sitting in my drafts folder, along with fifteen other blogs I've started but haven't taken time to edit. This one feels so sweet and strangely nostalgic that I'm compelled to publish it, in all it's rawness.

March 27,2020

It's been two weeks since the COVID-19 quarantine or stay in place or social

distancing started. Oddly, it is beginning to normalise - a bit.

I mark my start of this quarantine by the last day I taught yoga. Only one person showed up to class that day and although I kept my distance the situation felt uneasy. I chatted with a young girl at the studio about the impending doom. She was afraid and confused as to why people were hording toilet paper. She thought all infrastructures were going to fail and didn't see how toilet paper could help when there would be no water to flush a toilet. Sometimes it's comforting to be "older" and have perspective. After yoga class I went to my parents house. No kisses or hugs, just me waiving from across the room. I knew I wouldn't see them for some weeks and wanted to fully take in their smiles and love. It has been two weeks and I am relieved my parents are healthy.

My busy life came to a halt. My priorities shifted. I am walking more. I re-discovered a path I used to walk 22 years ago during my last pregnancy. There is something comforting about walking that path; retracing old steps, reliving old memories and placing new ones down. The bare wall above my sofa is now filled with a gallery of faces and memories smiling down on me. The broken hose and other odds and ends that cluttered the back yard have been cleared away. I've planted a garden; radish and spinach leaves are poking up through the soil. Boxes of photos are beginning to take order and I've chatted with cousins in Ireland, that I don't usually talk to. We had a mini family gathering on zoom where my sisters, mother and I all sang Irish songs to the delight of my father, who is dealing with the effects of Alzheimers. My husband and I look at each other wondering what to do next. In 2 weeks I've done what normally would have taken me years.

It's funny how some of the small habits that I've been wanting to implement come easy to me. I have started a night time routine taking time, adding the small touches like rubbing my feet with cream before bed and other little self care practices I never felt I had time for. Looking back I think I had the time for them all along.

June 22, 2020

That was written 3 months ago and my radishes have taken over the garden and to my delight don't look a thing like a radish but more like a green bean. It surprises me when my Zoom conversations result in a comment about my new gallery wall. It is hard to remember a time it wasn't there. The baby moved back home from college, graduating, with out ceremony, and now we walk the path together. The yoga studio I taught my last class at closed its doors for good as did the one around the corner I used to work at. My parents are still healthy and I get to see them once a week on Zoom.

What felt like a rush to get things done, while I had this little break, has now turned into the new normal and once again my days are busy. The routines and self care continue. I built a full yoga teaching schedule on Zoom and am enjoying the opportunity it offers to get to know the lovely men and women who continued to practice even when everything shut down.